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MADMAX
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Post by MADMAX » Tue Oct 07, 2008 9:21 am

:shock: SSssssssscary Ssssstuff
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Post by MAC » Thu Oct 09, 2008 10:15 pm

Ken had his sperm frozen before chemotherapy in the 1980s:

Baby born from 21-year-old sperm:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26756125/[/b]

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Post by MADMAX » Fri Oct 10, 2008 3:29 am

MAC wrote:Ken had his sperm frozen before chemotherapy in the 1980s:

Baby born from 21-year-old sperm:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26756125/[/b]


LOL :)

cool story MAC :cool:
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Post by Archie_Klumper » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:18 am

Kinda weird...

I'm picturing a guy going to the bathroom with a porn mag and an ice cube tray.

:?

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Post by MADMAX » Fri Oct 10, 2008 7:44 am

:shock: how do you know about the ice cube tray ?? :!: :!:
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Post by Archie_Klumper » Fri Oct 10, 2008 8:07 am

Dolphin Knocks Woman Unconscious
Coast Guard Responds To Rescue Victim

NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Fla. -- The U.S. Coast Guard responded to a rescue call Thursday morning after a woman was apparently struck by a jumping dolphin.

The incident was reported along the Intracoastal Waterway near the North Causeway in New Smyrna Beach.

Laura Hall and her boyfriend, Montie Henderson, were taking her visiting parents for a cruise on their boat when a dolphin jumped out of the water, landing on Hall's parents. The 8- to 9-foot dolphin missed the water and hit the 18-foot boat instead.

"Just before we got underneath the bridge, the dolphin, about 2 foot off the left side of the boat, jumped up in the air and slammed into them," said Henderson.

"It just jumped and it landed right in the boat, right on top of my parents," said Hall.

Witnesses were also in disbelief at what they had seen. "We all saw it jump right out of the water, and we're like, 'Oh my God ,are you all right? Are you OK?' It was like really crazy," said David Kop, a fisherman.

"I could see that they had a dolphin right on the front of the bow of their boat and it was flapping all over the place," said John Rice, a witness.

Barbara Howard, Hall’s mother, was knocked unconscious while Norman Howard, Hall’s father, was being hit by the dolphin’s tail.

"Well, my dad was getting beat up by the tail. My mom had her glasses on, and it kind of pushed her glasses up. She's got a couple of little cuts," said Hall.

Henderson then pushed the dolphin off the boat.

Barbara and Norman Howard have been treated for cuts and bruises and have been released from a hospital.

=============================

Now there's something to talk about at the dinner table. :shock:

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Post by Judge » Fri Oct 10, 2008 3:26 pm

Archie_Klumper wrote:Kinda weird...

I'm picturing a guy going to the bathroom with a porn mag and an ice cube tray.

:?


Stay OUTTA my windows!!!! :oops: :evil:
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Post by Archie_Klumper » Fri Oct 10, 2008 3:41 pm

:lol: Do you add toothpicks so you can have Sperm On A Stick?

Remember Timer?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoNI4N3x ... re=related

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Post by Renegadex » Sun Oct 12, 2008 9:20 pm

I know what that video's about without even clicking on the link -- "Time for Timer!" Making juice cubes. Ick. That was one wacked-out "nutrition" Saturday morning cartoon promo...

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Post by Judge » Mon Oct 13, 2008 12:12 am

Renegadex wrote:I know what that video's about without even clicking on the link -- "Time for Timer!" Making juice cubes. Ick. That was one wacked-out "nutrition" Saturday morning cartoon promo...


I didnt look at either Ren. :lol: :wink:
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Post by Archie_Klumper » Thu Oct 16, 2008 12:07 pm

Ok, now I've seen it all... :roll:

(from the BBC news website)
============================

Legal case against God dismissed

A US judge has thrown out a case against God, ruling that because the defendant has no address, legal papers cannot be served.

The suit was launched by Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers, who said he might appeal against the ruling.

He sought a permanent injunction to prevent the "death, destruction and terrorisation" caused by God.

Judge Marlon Polk said in his ruling that a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a case to proceed.

"Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant this action will be dismissed with prejudice," Judge Polk wrote in his ruling.

Mr Chambers cannot refile the suit but may appeal.

'God knows everything'

Mr Chambers sued God last year. He said God had threatened him and the people of Nebraska and had inflicted "widespread death, destruction and terrorisation of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants".

He said he would carefully consider Judge Polk's ruling before deciding whether to appeal.

The court, Mr Chambers said, had acknowledged the existence of God and "a consequence of that acknowledgement is a recognition of God's omniscience".

"Since God knows everything," he reasoned, "God has notice of this lawsuit."

Mr Chambers, a state senator for 38 years, said he filed the suit to make the point that "anyone can sue anyone else, even God".

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IN THE NEWS 2008

Post by MADMAX » Thu Oct 23, 2008 10:25 am

Ice Cream from Human Breast Milk?

PETA wants world-famous Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Ice Cream to tap nursing moms, rather than cows, for the milk used in its ice cream. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is asking the ice cream maker to begin using breast milk in its products instead of cow’s milk, saying it would reduce the suffering of cows and calves and give ice cream lovers a healthier product.

The idea is getting a cool reception from Ben & Jerry’s officials, the company’s customers and even La Leche League International, the world’s oldest breastfeeding support organization, which promotes the practice - for babies, anyway. PETA wrote a letter to company founders Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield on Tuesday, telling them cow’s milk is hazardous and that milking them is cruel.

A spokeswoman for the animal rights advocacy group says dairy products have been linked to juvenile diabetes, allergies and obesity. “If Ben and Jerry’s replaced the cow’s milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers - and cows - would reap the benefits,” wrote Tracy Reiman, the group’s executive vice-president.

Ashley Byrne, a campaign co-ordinator for PETA, acknowledged the implausibility of substituting breast milk for cow’s milk, but said it’s no stranger than humans consuming the milk of another species. “We’re aware this idea is somewhat absurd, and that putting it into practice is a stretch. At the time same, it’s pretty absurd for us to be drinking the milk of cows,” she said.

Ben & Jerry’s, which gets its milk exclusively from Vermont cows, won’t say how much milk it uses or how much ice cream it sells. As a standardized product under federal regulations, ice cream must be made with milk from healthy cows. Ice cream made from goat’s milk, for example, would have to be labelled as such.

“We applaud PETA’s novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother’s milk is best used for her child,” spokesman Sean Greenwood said in an email. He didn’t respond to requests for an interview. Leon Berthiaume, general manager of the St. Albans Co-operative Creamery, which provides milk products to Ben & Jerry’s, called the dairy products “among the safest in the world.”

“Milk from cows has long-term health benefits and has been proven to be safe and healthy and an important part of the American diet for generations,” he said. “I’m not ready to make that change.”

Cow’s milk and mother’s milk aren’t interchangeable, according to La Leche spokeswoman Jane Crouse, who says breast milk is a dynamic substance that’s different with each woman and each child and might have difficulty being processed into ice cream. Then there’s the question of who would provide the milk, and whether they’d be paid.

“Some women feel compelled to donate milk to a milk bank for adopted babies, or for someone who’s ill or unable to breast feed. There’s plenty of anecdotal evidence about sisters who nurse each others’ babies. There’s a population of women very willing to share their milk. Whether there’s enough to do it for a commercial entity, who can say?” she said.

At the Ben & Jerry’s factory in Waterbury, consumers gave a collective “Ewww” to the idea Thursday.

“It’s kind of creepy,” said Jeff Waugh, 42, of Dayton, Ohio.

“I think it’s a little nutty,” said Rev. Roger Wooton, 83, of Malden, Mass., finishing up a cup of Heath Bar Crunch.

“How would they get all that milk?” said his wife, Jane Wooton, 77.

Jen Wahlbrink, 34, of Phoenix, who breastfed her 11-month-old son, Cameron, said she wouldn’t touch ice cream made from mother’s milk. She remembers her nursing days - and not that fondly.

“The (breast) pumps just weren’t that much fun. You really do feel like a cow,” she said, cradling her son in her hands. I just don’t think this will ever catch on.
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Post by Duesy » Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:53 pm

yuck..
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Post by Archie_Klumper » Fri Oct 24, 2008 3:24 pm

Police: Campaign Volunteer Lied, Injured Self

Ashley Todd told investigators today she "just wanted to tell the truth" -- and was neither robbed, nor attacked
Todd, 20, is now facing charges for filing a false report to police

PITTSBURGH (KDKA) ― Police say a campaign volunteer confessed to making up a story that a mugger attacked her and cut the letter B in her face after seeing her McCain bumper sticker; now she's facing charges.

Image

At a news conference this afternoon, officials said they believe that Ashley Todd's injuries were self-inflicted.

Todd, 20, of Texas, is now facing charges for filing a false report to police.

Todd initially told police that she was robbed at an ATM in Bloomfield and that the suspect began beating her after seeing her GOP sticker on her car.

Police investigating the alleged attack, however, began to notice some inconsistencies in her story and administered a polygraph test.

Investigators asked Todd to return to the police station today for more questioning and to help them release a composite sketch of the suspect.

When she did, police say she admitted that she made the whole thing up and that it snowballed out of control.

Todd told investigators today that she "just wanted to tell the truth" – adding that she was neither robbed, nor attacked.

"She indicated that she has prior mental problems and that she does not remember how the backward letter B got on her face," Pittsburgh Police Spokeswoman Diane Richard told reporters today.

Todd told police that while she did not remember how the backward "B" got on her face, she may have done it herself since she was the only one in the car.

According to police, Todd said she thought of Barack Obama when she saw the "B" in her rearview mirror.

Officials say they do not believe any other people were involved; and Todd's friends believed the story about the attack – encouraging her to call police.

=====================================

:roll: Can't wait for the whole thing to end. :?

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Post by Renegadex » Sun Oct 26, 2008 10:29 pm

Ashley's trial came up last night, and she was convicted of misdemeanor fraud and criminal mischief.

Her sentence was commuted to carving an "L" on her forehead.



;)

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Post by Archie_Klumper » Tue Oct 28, 2008 10:49 am

The Stink in Farts Controls Blood Pressure

Amelia Tomas
LiveScience Staff
LiveScience.com amelia Tomas
livescience Staff
livescience.com – Thu Oct 23, 3:21 pm ET

A smelly rotten-egg gas in farts controls blood pressure in mice, a new study finds.

The unpleasant aroma of the gas, called hydrogen sulfide (H2S), can be a little too familiar, as it is expelled by bacteria living in the human colon and eventually makes its way, well, out.

The new research found that cells lining mice's blood vessels naturally make the gas and this action can help keep the rodents' blood pressure low by relaxing the blood vessels to prevent hypertension (high blood pressure). This gas is "no doubt" produced in cells lining human blood vessels too, the researchers said.

"Now that we know hydrogen sulfide's role in regulating blood pressure, it may be possible to design drug therapies that enhance its formation as an alternative to the current methods of treatment for hypertension," said Johns Hopkins neuroscientist Solomon H. Snyder, M.D., a co-author of the study detailed in the Oct. 24th issue of the journal Science.

Snyder and his colleagues compared normal mice to mice that were missing a gene for an enzyme known as CSE, long suspected as being responsible for making hydrogen sulfide. As they measured hydrogen sulfide levels taken from tissues of the CSE-deficient mice, the scientists found that the gas was depleted in the cardiovascular systems of the altered mice. By contrast, normal mice had higher levels of the gas, thereby showing that hydrogen sulfide is naturally made by mammalian tissues using CSE.

Next, the mice were subjected to higher blood pressures comparable to serious hypertension in humans. Scientists had them respond to a chemical called methacholine that relaxes normal blood vessels. The blood vessels of the CSE-lacking mice hardly relaxed, indicating that hydrogen sulfide is a huge contender for regulating blood pressure.

Hydrogen sulfide is the most recently discovered member of a family of gasotransmitters, small molecules inside our bodies with important physiological functions.

This study is the first to reveal that the CSE enzyme that triggers hydrogen sulfide is activated itself in the same way as other enzymes when they trigger their respective gasotransmitter, such as a nitric oxide-forming enzyme that also regulates blood pressure, Dr. Snyder said.

Because gasotransmitters are common in mammals all over the evolutionary tree, these findings on the importance of hydrogen sulfide are thought to have broad applications to human diseases, such as diabetes and neurodegenerative diseases.

The research was supported by grants from the U.S. Public Health Service and the Canadian Institutes of Health Research as well as a Research Scientist Award.

===================================

I can't wait to tell my wife this wonderful news :D


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IN THE NEWS 2008

Post by MADMAX » Wed Nov 05, 2008 5:34 am

Barack Obama

Nearly 150 years after Abraham Lincoln signed his Emancipation Proclamation, Barack Obama, a freshman senator from Lincoln's home state, became the first black to be elected president of the United States.

Obama, a 47-year-old Chicago Democrat who inspired millions with his soaring oratory and hopeful rhetoric, defeated Republican presidential nominee John McCain by a comfortable electoral vote margin. The Hawaii native, who spent much of the first decade of his life in Indonesia, rolled to victory by winning every state carried by Democrat John Kerry in 2004, then adding traditionally Republican states such as Virginia, Colorado, Nevada and Florida.

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer," the president-elect told more than 100,000 people who gathered for a moonlit victory celebration on a balmy Chicago night.

A country beset by a battered economy, an unpopular war and partisan sniping in Washington turned to a candidate unlike any of the nation's first 43 presidents. Obama, the son of a black father from Kenya and a white mother from Kansas, received more popular votes than any candidate in U.S. history. He was the first Democrat to take a majority of the popular vote since Jimmy Carter in 1976, and he received more white votes than any Democrat since Carter, besting both Bill Clinton and Al Gore. Obama won the the largest majority of any Democrat since Lyndon B. Johnson in 1964 among women, independents, moderates, blacks, Hispanics and young voters.

With most U.S. precincts tallied, the popular vote was 51.9 percent for Obama and 46.8 percent for McCain. But the count in the Electoral College was lopsided in Obama's favor over McCain — 349 to 147 as of early Wednesday, with three states still to be decided. Those were North Carolina, Georgia and Missouri.

Democrats also padded their majorities in both houses of Congress, taking at least five GOP seats in the Senate and about a dozen seats in the House — the first time since 1932 that one party significantly expanded its majority after winning a sweeping victory the election before.

The massive crowd in Chicago's Grant Park — the site of rioting during the 1968 Democratic convention — applauded jubilantly and waved American flags at 10 p.m. CST when every television network declared the Democrat the nation's president-elect after polls closed on the West Coast. Jubilant volunteers launched into a chorus of "Yes, we can," which soon was modified to "Yes, we did." Around the world, Obama fans staged impromptu celebrations from Kenya to Australia.

Obama took to the stage after taking a brief congratulatory call from President Bush, who promised to do everything he could to ensure a smooth transition of power.

"Because of what we did on this day, in this election, in this defining moment, change has come to America," he told the cheering crowd during a 15-minute speech. "America, we have come so far, we have seen so much, but there is so much more to do."

The mood was radically different at McCain's subdued election night event at the Biltmore Resort in Phoenix. The Republican's aides halted broadcast of election returns when the Obama trend became clear and only announced favorable results. John Kyl, McCain's close friend and fellow Arizona senator, cited a Bible passage that was an appropriate epitaph for McCain's campaign.

"I have fought a good fight. I have finished my course. I have kept the faith," Kyl said, quoting 2 Timothy 4:7.

Praise for his rival
McCain telephoned Obama at 10:09 p.m. CST to concede defeat and congratulate his rival for a hard-fought campaign. According to Obama strategist Robert Gibbs, the president-elect responded, "I need your help, you're a leader on so many important issues."

Ten minutes later, the Arizona senator pledged during an eight-minute speech "to do all I can to help him lead us through all the many challenges that we face."

"The American people have spoken, and they have spoken clearly," McCain said to scattered boos. "Sen. Obama has achieved a great thing for himself and for his country."

The vanquished Republican praised Obama for "inspiring the hopes of so many millions of Americans" and said his victory proved that the country is "a world away from the cruel and frightful bigotry" of the past.

"There is no better evidence of this than the election of an African American to the presidency of the United States," he told the hushed audience. "We have come a long way from the old injustices that once stained our nation's reputation and denied some Americans the full blessings of American citizenship."

Tuesday's results were a clear repudiation of Bush, the former Texas governor who arrived in Washington eight years ago promising change but is leaving the capital as the most unpopular president in modern times. More than four of every five voters told pollsters they want the new president to take the country in a new direction.

That's exactly what Obama promised in his meteoric rise to the White House. An unknown state senator from Chicago four years ago, he rocketed to national prominence when he delivered the keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention in Boston, punctuated by his declaration that "there is not a liberal America and a conservative America — there is the United States of America."

As a first-term senator, he took an audacious gamble by challenging prohibitive front-runner Hillary Rodham Clinton for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination. But his outsider message of hope and change caught fire with the Democratic grassroots, propelling Obama to the party's nomination and ultimately the presidency.

"This does feel like a game-changing moment in our history," said Simon Rosenberg, head of the Democratic group called NDN. "This is the dawning of a new political day and a 21st-century politics."

The general election offered voters one of the sharpest generational contrasts in modern history — a 72-year-old war hero facing a man 25 years his junior who was just 6 years old when McCain was taken prisoner by the North Vietnamese. The two men clashed sharply over issues ranging from the future of American military forces in Iraq and Afghanistan to their plans to rebuild the American financial system and end the sharpest economic downturn since the Great Depression.

McCain's chief strategist blamed the bad economy for his candidate's drubbing.

"I think we did our absolute best in this campaign in really difficult circumstances," said Steve Schmidt, a former Bush campaign strategist and protege of ex-White House political guru Karl Rove. "We had some tough cards to play all the way through, and we hung in there all the way. ... It is highly doubtful that anyone will ever have to run in a worse political climate than the one John McCain had to run in this year."

More firsts
Obama is making history in more ways than one. When he is sworn in on Jan. 20, Obama will become the first senator since John F. Kennedy to become president, the first president from Illinois since Lincoln and Ulysses Grant, the first president born in Hawaii, and the fourth-youngest man to be elected president after Kennedy, Bill Clinton and Theodore Roosevelt.

He also earned the distinction as the most prolific political fundraiser in American history. The Democrat raised more than $600 million to fuel the most expensive election in American history. McCain, who agreed to limit his general election spending to $84 million in exchange for federal funding, was outspent in every battleground state — the first time a Democratic presidential candidate held such a commanding lead in campaign cash.

Money was not McCain's only problem. The Republican nominee was criticized for failing to deliver a consistent message and for emphasizing his record rather than his plans for the future.

Obama's victory brought spontaneous celebrations across the country from Democrats out of power for eight years and blacks elated at the history being made.

"I certainly did not believe I would see a person of color as president in my lifetime," said Houston City Council member Jolanda "Jo" Jones.

congrats on your new president guys i hope he does a great job for you :)

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Post by Renegadex » Wed Nov 05, 2008 9:58 pm

rose garden removed from white house lawn

watermelon patch planted ;)

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Post by MADMAX » Thu Nov 06, 2008 4:32 am

Renegadex wrote:rose garden removed from white house lawn

watermelon patch planted ;)


bad Ren but LOL

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Post by Archie_Klumper » Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:54 am

Carefuly, Ren...

You might end up with some unwelcome visitors

http://wwwwakeupamericans-spree.blogspo ... polls.html

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Post by Flapjack » Thu Nov 06, 2008 2:33 pm

Are they going to change it to the Black House now :lol:

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Post by Renegadex » Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:22 pm

Oh snap! You is a racist! :lol:

I'm sure the secret service will have its hands full. Still a lot of crazy KKKers out there...didn't they already foil one assassination plot?

But, seriously, the guy was raised by white grandparents and went to an elitist, white school. He probably watches baseball, spreads mayo on his sandwiches, listens to Billy Joel and drinks Budwesier. I think he probably has more in common with white crackers like me than minorities.

He even seems like a smart guy, with the notable exception of being a Democrat. ;)

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Post by Flapjack » Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:43 pm

I am not a racist, I proudly voted for him. He is half white, why isn't he white? Judging from the world wide reaction, this could be a new beginning for America. I thought it would take 50 years to correct all damage G.W. Shithead did to this country. Maybe President Obama can speed up the healing.

I thought the Black House was a cute play on words.

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Post by Duesy » Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:55 pm

I didn't vote for him...










(but then I'm an australian living in canada and obviously can't vote duh!)


I'm really hoping that he doesn't age 1oo years in the space of 6 months.. like all the other presidents did..
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Post by Judge » Thu Nov 06, 2008 4:55 pm

Flapjack wrote:He is half white, why isn't he white?



Because he is a black man. St00pid!!! :roll:


Youre 3/4 dumbass......but youre a Rocket Scientist! :shock:
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Post by Evil_Priest » Thu Nov 06, 2008 6:40 pm

Renegadex wrote:But, seriously, the guy was raised by white grandparents and went to an elitist, white school. He probably watches baseball, spreads mayo on his sandwiches, listens to Billy Joel and drinks Budwesier. I think he probably has more in common with white crackers like me than minorities.

He even seems like a smart guy, with the notable exception of being a Democrat. ;)


He prefers basketball, cant bowl for crap, don't know what he eats or listens to.
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Post by Flapjack » Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:50 pm

Judge wrote:
Flapjack wrote:He is half white, why isn't he white?



Because he is a black man. St00pid!!! :roll:


Youre 3/4 dumbass......but youre a Rocket Scientist! :shock:


Judge, I really think you're retarded. Do you wear a helmet in your office?

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Post by He||raZ'r » Fri Nov 07, 2008 6:15 pm

Flapjack wrote:Judge, I really think you're retarded. Do you wear a helmet in your office?



Judge always wears a helmet

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..Its merely a couple of clicks and BLAM , I'm instant smoke.

Another Silver Silver Classic Quote

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Post by Judge » Fri Nov 07, 2008 10:27 pm

He||raZ'r wrote:
Flapjack wrote:Judge, I really think you're retarded. Do you wear a helmet in your office?



Judge always wears a helmet

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NICE!!!


LMFAO!! :P
PWN'N n00bs leik j0o!

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Post by MADMAX » Sat Nov 08, 2008 4:44 am

that calls for the

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N1 He|| :lol:

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Judge
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Post by Judge » Sat Nov 08, 2008 2:40 pm

Man tries to pay bar tab with gum wrappers
28-year-old arrested for disorderly conduct, assault on police officer

6:02 p.m. MT, Fri., Nov. 7, 2008

LAWTON, Okla. - A 28-year-old man who attempted to pay for his bar tab with gum wrappers was arrested after a scuffle with a police officer on Tuesday night, authorities said.

A bartender told police the man was playing pool with an open bottle of beer and spilled some of it on the table. She said he first tried to pay his $32 tab with a credit card, which was declined.

When police arrived and ordered the man to pay his tab, they reported that he began counting out gum wrappers as if they were cash.
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Post by {WINGS}Broken_Clock » Fri Nov 21, 2008 7:52 pm

Man fined for penis in pasta jar

A MAN caught by police with his penis submerged in a pasta sauce jar was still pleasuring himself while resisting arrest, a court has been told.

Police drew their weapons after New South Wales man Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, led them on a brief, slow-speed car chase, the Newcastle Herald reports.

Weatherley attracted police attention while he was parked in a no-stopping zone near Nobby's Beach on October 26, Newcastle Local Court was told yesterday. .

Police thought he might have a weapon because they saw him doing something with his hands in his lap, the Herald said.

Instead, they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar, a police statement said.

That's when the pursuit began, the court was told.

When Weatherley was stopped, he refused to leave his car and four officers used batons and capsicum spray to get him out.

They found a 750mm jar around his penis and said Weatherley attempted to continue "pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling".

A search of his car uncovered pornography, a homemade sex aid, women's stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.

Weatherley pleaded guilty to offensive behaviour, resisting police and disobeying a police direction.

He was convicted and fined $600.
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Post by Renegadex » Sun Nov 23, 2008 10:15 pm

Wonder what he was doing with a Jack Russel terrier? No sane man would purposefully own one of those. :lol:

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Post by Judge » Sun Nov 23, 2008 11:08 pm

Renegadex wrote:Wonder what he was doing with a Jack Russel terrier? No sane man would purposefully own one of those. :lol:


Hence the penis in the pasta jar. Good Lord any sane man would have used a mayo jar! :roll:
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Post by Duesy » Mon Nov 24, 2008 12:38 am

for a second there.. I thought the dude removed it and put it in a pasta jar....
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Post by Judge » Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:40 am

Duesy wrote:for a second there.. I thought the dude removed it and put it in a pasta jar....


Duesy......that is JUST wrong!!!!! :twisted:
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Post by MADMAX » Mon Nov 24, 2008 4:44 am

Renegadex wrote:Wonder what he was doing with a Jack Russel terrier? No sane man would purposefully own one of those. :lol:


Image

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Post by Archie_Klumper » Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:46 am

Yeah, really... pasta sauce may give the dog an upset stomach...

He should have been using peanut butter instead. :P

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Post by Renegadex » Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:43 am

MADMAX wrote:
Renegadex wrote:Wonder what he was doing with a Jack Russel terrier? No sane man would purposefully own one of those. :lol:


Image

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Oh, lawd, those dogs are the most annoything thing on 4 legs.

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IN THE NEWS 2008

Post by MADMAX » Wed Nov 26, 2008 6:04 am

You Mess With the Shopper You Get the Turkey

It just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a frozen turkey
assault. Except this time the turkey was used against a
perpetrator.

North Carolina authorities say a shopper clubbed an alleged
carjacker with a frozen turkey as he tried to steal a woman’s
car in a grocery store parking lot.

Police say 30-year-old Fred Louis Ervin of Raleigh stole
money from a gas station before running across the street
to a Harris Teeter store in a town just south of Raleigh.
Garner police say he began beating Irene Moorman Bailey
while stealing her car.

Other shoppers came to her rescue, including one who hit
Ervin with the turkey. Police did not release the person’s
name.

Despite serious head injuries, Ervin got away in Bailey’s
car and hit several other cars as he fled. But police
arrested him a short time later.

He faces several charges including assault inflicting serious
injury. Ervin was hospitalized Monday in good condition, a
hospital spokeswoman said.


---------------------------------------------------------------------

Pardoned turkey going to Disneyland

WASHINGTON - United Airlines says it will help the turkey
that dodges Thanksgiving dinner at the White House make
its getaway to Disneyland this week. The airline will strap
the lucky bird into a first-class seat Wednesday for a non-
stop flight from Washington to LAX and then on to Orange
County and a date as grand marshal of the annual Thanks-
giving parade at Disneyland. President George W. Bush is
set to issue the traditional Thanksgiving pardon Wednesday,
freeing the bird and a companion for the holidays. A United
spokesman told Crain’s Chicago Business Disney annually
buys out the entire first-class cabin for the turkey
delegation, which includes the caged turkey and a group
from the National Turkey Federation.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Re: IN THE NEWS 2008

Post by Archie_Klumper » Wed Nov 26, 2008 8:27 am

MADMAX wrote:You Mess With the Shopper You Get the Turkey

It just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a frozen turkey
assault. Except this time the turkey was used against a
perpetrator.

North Carolina authorities say a shopper clubbed an alleged
carjacker with a frozen turkey as he tried to steal a woman’s
car in a grocery store parking lot.

Police say 30-year-old Fred Louis Ervin of Raleigh stole
money from a gas station before running across the street
to a Harris Teeter store in a town just south of Raleigh.
Garner police say he began beating Irene Moorman Bailey
while stealing her car.

Other shoppers came to her rescue, including one who hit
Ervin with the turkey. Police did not release the person’s
name.

Despite serious head injuries, Ervin got away in Bailey’s
car and hit several other cars as he fled. But police
arrested him a short time later.

He faces several charges including assault inflicting serious
injury. Ervin was hospitalized Monday in good condition, a
hospital spokeswoman said.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


Funny thing about this is that a similar incident happened to my grandmother several years ago. Except the perpetrator was a 9 year old kid, she was walking from the store and it was a frozen chicken. :lol:

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Post by Flapjack » Wed Nov 26, 2008 8:52 am

Duesy wrote:for a second there.. I thought the dude removed it and put it in a pasta jar....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQz771ql ... re=related

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Post by Judge » Sat Nov 29, 2008 8:10 pm

http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/8866348?MSNHPHMA

What a dumbass. And please tell me why these guys need to carry guns? :roll: :roll:


Flapjack wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQz771qlnxY&feature=related


OMG is that ABC's video/song or what? :shock:
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Post by DeputyGarcia » Mon Dec 15, 2008 3:13 pm

This thread is pretty deep so this may be in here already but it's news to me.

From: http://www.thehumorarchives.com/joke/Cigar_Insurance


Cigar Insurance
Don't @*&! with the insurance companies

A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a box of 24 rare and very expensive cigars, insured them against... fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in "a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued, and won.

In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that the man held a policy from the company in which it was warranted that the cigars were insurable. The company, in the policy, had also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and so, the company was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the judge's ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he had lost in "the fires."

However, shortly after the man cashed his check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive one-year prison terms.
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Post by MADMAX » Tue Dec 16, 2008 4:38 am

DJ's angry wife sells $45,000 sports car for less than $1.00!

A controversial radio DJ's wife sold his $45,000 sports car on eBay for less than a dollar after he flirted with model Jodie Marsh on air.
British babe Jodie Marsh
Kerrang 105.2's Tim Shaw told the sexy babe he was prepared to leave his wife and their two children for her.

The DJ's wife was listening and immediately started an auction on eBay to sell his Lotus Esprit Turbo with a 'Buy It Now' option of $1.00.

Radio DJ Tim Shaw
The item description read: "I need to get rid of this car in the next two to three hours before my husband gets home to find it gone and all his belongings in the street."

The car was sold in under five minutes.

It wasn't the first time this DJ upset his 27-year-old wife. When she was pregnant he rang up her sister live on air and said he thought about her while having sex with his wife.

Mrs Shaw said: "When he said he would leave me and the kids for Jodie Marsh, that was it for me. I am sick of him disrespecting this family for the sake of his act.

"The car is his pride and joy but the idiot put my name on the log book so I just sold it. I didn't care about the money, I just wanted to get him back."

Lotus Esprit Turbo, similar to the one sold for less than $1.00

She added: "There is no hope for a reconciliation." A Kerrang 105.2 spokesperson said the DJ was 'absolutely gutted'.

GO! jodie marsh :cool:
for those of you who dont know who jodie marsh is here
http://www.icelebz.com/celebs/jodie_marsh/
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Post by Friendly_Fire » Tue Dec 16, 2008 11:16 am

That was funny. 'Instant Karma' strikes again.
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Post by Archie_Klumper » Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:55 pm

Is that all really true?

I mean, how many times have we heard that particular story of "angy-ex-gf/wife/etc-gets-revenge-by-selling-sports-car-for-1.00" on the internet?

This has got to be the 73rd that I've heard.

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Post by MADMAX » Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:34 pm

yeah its true. he done an interview a few months back :)

there was 1 condition on buying the car , the buyer had to pick it up within the hour or before her husband came home from work.

sold on e-bay

lol
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Post by Renegadex » Tue Dec 16, 2008 11:20 pm

It's a good story, but lacks authenticity.

Everyone knows Craig'sList is the new hotness, not Ebay. :lol:

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Post by MADMAX » Wed Dec 17, 2008 4:21 am

DJ's angry wife sells $45,000 sports car for less than $1.00!:

http://www.stunning-stuff.com/read-weir ... .html?ci=8


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